We live in very contentious times. The political divide is heated and often is hateful and conflictual. Not only are the political parties divided but communities, families, and parents are divided. This conflict has been increasingly heated before the election and undoubtedly will be felt after the election.
Young children are affected by traumatic events. Nerissa Bauer, MD writes in healthychildren.org, “life is beautiful and messy, complicated, and hard. And there is no such thing as “perfect” parents. Events happen and they can be traumatic and affect how a child feels and behaves”.
Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) are common. ACEs are traumatic events such as abuse, witnessing violence, neglect, parental divorce, poverty and homes with mental health issues or drug abuse. One study of adults in the US reported that 60-80% report at least on type of ACE and in the same group 1 in 6 experienced 4 or more between the ages of 1 and 17. More common ACEs are felt by the following: minority racial or ethnic groups, socioeconomic challenges (poverty), stressed parents or caregivers (divorce), girls or children assigned female at birth and family members or friends diagnosed with substance use or a mental health condition.
Children may show signs of trauma that could include: fear of other people, difficulty sleeping or frequent nightmares, difficulty showing affection towards friends or family, avoiding situation or events that relate to a traumatic experience and difficulty learning in school. These reactions usually develop after the child has time to process the experience.
ACEs can impact adults years after the traumatic event and can have long term impacts on health, quality of life and lifetime success. Conditions such as anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, phobias, insomnia and mood disorders have a higher incidence in those adults who have experience ACEs. The stress of ACEs has been shown to affect the way your cells divide and replicate, which can lead to cancer and heart disease.
All childhood experience, both positive and negative, influence how a child grows and develops. A child’s brain is very sensitive and ACEs target a child’s memory (hippocampus), the part of the brain that helps logical thinking (prefrontal cortex) and emotions (amygdala). Scary situations trigger a “flight and fight” response and overtime that becomes ‘”toxic”.
First a parent needs to recognize when there are adverse conditions for both themselves and their children. Parents want to be able to provide a safe, secure, and nurturing environment and help their children have healthy relationships in the family, school and community.
Seeking help to reduce stressful adverse conditions and get ideas about building a safe environment can be obtain from your healthcare provider, a support groups, resources from social workers, and other services such as clubs and teams.
Whether at home or car, use kind language when talking to children and about other people. Use non-violence in disciplining your child. Teach your child how to handle conflicts safely and peacefully. No one is prefect but we can all improve with kindness.